insomnia

I'm freaking tired today after 'wasting' so much time in studying but gain nth in the end of the day. I cant sleep though...wtf
These few days, I thought I ald escaped fr the sad world. In fact, I'm not. A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness. I have been trying to expect less, but trying is always the first step to failure.

I always believe that shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow. I miss my frieds when something really good happens, because they are the 1 I want to share with. I miss my friends when something is troubling me, because i think they will make my laughter to grow and my tears to disappear. However, who are my friends? Do I've too many friends until I cant actually remember who are they? I'm trying hard to quit msn, but on the other hand i cant control my hands to sms my friends at night. Maybe it's due to the stress come fr my studies. Since evry1 seems very busy, whom should i sms? Sometimes, i'll lay on my bed while waiting for the reply, until i sleep there's stil no hp sound was heard. I could only receive the replies on the nex day when i wake up. Consequently, i still hv to suffer for whole night. I tell myself, no expectation anymore to anyone, anytime at anywhere. I've to find my own way to relieve my stress. I've to cope with every difficulty alone. The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of my own arm.

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. I dont really know what am I searching. I just know that it's something which is so undefined. I just want someone comes and makes me laugh, makes me cry...just to make me feel alive. will it too much? When we come to frienship, it is not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet good friends but find out in the end that they are not trustworthy and you just have to let go. It's really a very hard decision to make.

plz love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.