Footprints In The Sand

It's a cold rainy day. There isn't much else to do, and the weather else seems to suggest that I should sleep more.

'Grongggggg!!' The thunder woke me from sleeping.

I can feel the fear slowly come creeping in. I asked myself, how old am I, what am i doing now? My face turns pale and it's the indication of feeling lost. A life without a purpose, depression will quickly set in. Depression is a silent disease that sucks myenergy and joy out of a my life.


Leaving KL, back to Alor star, back to own family. The feeling of loneliness seems follow me and fill the world in which I live.  At home, my mom treats me not bad, however, I can feel that she, still, treats my sister better than me, no matter how I've tried my best. She likes girl more than guy and she wish that my first child is a she. No other feeling could possibly be worse than this, where once a house filled with laughter and cheer, now stands loneliness, emptiness and disappointment. The waves of pain drown me from time to time. I think I'm trapped in a box with too much emotion. So now, can I get out from the box? Is it locked? Is it day or is it night?


My worries come back. My past, won't leave me. I need a friend to free me from my past. I don't know can I be as good as others. I also don't know can a broken heart keep on breaking. I don’t believe in god, but still I pray, that somehow, someday, someone to stand by me. My dear grandma, I'm still asking why, why a good person with a big heart left me alone. I'm missing you so much.


Behind my smiles were my tears while behind all my comfort were my fears. I'm still searching for true friends that can erase my fears and wipe my tears. Everything you see in me only what I've chosen to show you. I want to be a real me again. I don't know what I want exactly in future, but, I wish someone who knows to play a guitar can sing this song to me. A song that I sang from my heart.

You walked with me, 
Footprints in the sand, 
And help me understand, 
Where I'm going, 

You walked with me, 
When I was all alone, 
With so much unknown, 
Along the way, 
Then I heard you say, 

I promise you, 
I'm always there, 
When your heart is filled 
With sorrow and despair, 
I'll carry you 
When you need a friend, 
You'll find my footprints in the sand. 

I see my life flash across the sky, 
So many times have I been so afraid.
And just when I, I thought I lost my way, 
You give me strength to carry on, 
That's when I heard you say, 

I promise you 
I'm always there 
When your heart is filled 
With sorrow and despair 
And, I'll carry you 
When you need a friend 
You'll find my footprints in the sand.

不要把別人的好當作理所當然

【不要把別人的好當作理所當然】 甲不喜歡吃雞蛋，每次發了雞蛋都給乙吃，剛開始乙很感謝，久而久之便習慣了。 習慣了，便理所當然了。於是，直到有一天，甲將雞蛋給了丙，乙就不爽了。 她忘記了這個雞蛋本來就是甲的，甲想給誰都可以。為此，她們大吵一架，從此絕交。 ‧很多時候，我們總是希望得到別人的好。一開始，感激不盡。可是久了，便是習慣了。習慣了一個人對你的好，便認為是理所應當的。 有一天不對你好了，你便覺得怨懟。其實，不是別人不好了，而是我們的要求變多了。習慣了得到，便忘記了感恩！ 網路轉貼

Mahatma Gandhi

"First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they fight you,
then you win."
-by Mahatma Gandhi-

First they ignore you.

At first, no one would understand your feeling. You would seem to be lacking in acceptance by the people around even though you have tried to be nice to them.

Then they laugh at you.

Soon after, some people would start to make comments on you. they don't think your thinking is rational. Some even feel that you are stupid.

Then they fight you.

The next step, that people will attack you and start to use methods to topple your efforts by talking negatively about you.

Then you win.

The last step, if you were able to handle each of these previous steps, would be success in your life. Having an idea of the stages gives you a sense of what to expect , so that you are much better able to control how you handle the effects.


Therefore, don't care too much about those ignore you, this is just the first step, and you will win eventually. Nobody can hurt you without your permission. What a bad guy am I! I plan to block some contacts in my smartphone, as a revenge for those disrespectful people. But what's the point? Just to show how disappointed am I, a friend that really use his heart to treat his friends. Some people may asked me, why treat a person so nice when he/she didn't care about you, didn't bring any benefits to you at all. I answered a person once, 'ngam key kua'. Now I know ngam key is useless, the most important thing is how you treat a person as well as how he/she treat you back. Thanks to everyone who give me the lesson. Feel a sense of deep gratitude for those people that still treat me a good friend no matter how I changed from time to time. I think of many more other things to be grateful for. Sometimes it’s easy to feel sad when you’re going through a tough time in life. However, no matter how bad your situation may seem, there are still thousands of things to be grateful for in life. It is clear to me that people who feel gratitude have better life than those who dwell on their disappointments. Learn to be open-minded. One of the greatest mental freedoms is truly not caring what other people think of you. Jenwin, your handphone is still ringing everyday. Still got tonnes of nice persons finding you. You still feel happy reading those sms. You are still a happy guy. *evil smile* hiak hiak hiak~

Do nothing

This week I seemed have done nothing. Yesterday, ItSeang, ChunHong, HanBoon, felicia and Jos came to Alor Star and went to my shop. Alor Star has what to eat, I really have no idea. Home-made dishes are still the best. I watched 2 singing competitions recently, namely Voice of China and Astro Hua Hi Lai Ka la. Singing can burn? I wanna try already.