Footprints In The Sand

It's a cold rainy day. There isn't much else to do, and the weather else seems to suggest that I should sleep more.

'Grongggggg!!' The thunder woke me from sleeping.

I can feel the fear slowly come creeping in. I asked myself, how old am I, what am i doing now? My face turns pale and it's the indication of feeling lost. A life without a purpose, depression will quickly set in. Depression is a silent disease that sucks myenergy and joy out of a my life.


Leaving KL, back to Alor star, back to own family. The feeling of loneliness seems follow me and fill the world in which I live.  At home, my mom treats me not bad, however, I can feel that she, still, treats my sister better than me, no matter how I've tried my best. She likes girl more than guy and she wish that my first child is a she. No other feeling could possibly be worse than this, where once a house filled with laughter and cheer, now stands loneliness, emptiness and disappointment. The waves of pain drown me from time to time. I think I'm trapped in a box with too much emotion. So now, can I get out from the box? Is it locked? Is it day or is it night?


My worries come back. My past, won't leave me. I need a friend to free me from my past. I don't know can I be as good as others. I also don't know can a broken heart keep on breaking. I don’t believe in god, but still I pray, that somehow, someday, someone to stand by me. My dear grandma, I'm still asking why, why a good person with a big heart left me alone. I'm missing you so much.


Behind my smiles were my tears while behind all my comfort were my fears. I'm still searching for true friends that can erase my fears and wipe my tears. Everything you see in me only what I've chosen to show you. I want to be a real me again. I don't know what I want exactly in future, but, I wish someone who knows to play a guitar can sing this song to me. A song that I sang from my heart.

You walked with me, 
Footprints in the sand, 
And help me understand, 
Where I'm going, 

You walked with me, 
When I was all alone, 
With so much unknown, 
Along the way, 
Then I heard you say, 

I promise you, 
I'm always there, 
When your heart is filled 
With sorrow and despair, 
I'll carry you 
When you need a friend, 
You'll find my footprints in the sand. 

I see my life flash across the sky, 
So many times have I been so afraid.
And just when I, I thought I lost my way, 
You give me strength to carry on, 
That's when I heard you say, 

I promise you 
I'm always there 
When your heart is filled 
With sorrow and despair 
And, I'll carry you 
When you need a friend 
You'll find my footprints in the sand.