Busy?

It has been a few day I never blogging. Does it indicate I have successfully adapt to my current life? Nothing is special for these few days. I have a lot of free time, but I don't how did I spend my time until I feel that I'm so busy. This is my timetable for a week:
sunday-no class
monday-1hr class
tuesday-no class
wednesday-3hours pbl
thursday-1 hr pbl
friday-3hours class
saturday-2hours class

My schedule seems so unoccupied, but I didn't use it wisely. I rather sleep than doing my PBL. I rather drive around doing nothing than sitting down and study my notes. Undeniably, I'm still missing home and my hometown friends. I was taking dinner at Alibaba just now. Everyone at least in pairs, but not me. I'm still the same, keep pressing my handphone keypad, wishing to hear some sms ring tone. But I am so sui, I always didn't end my conversation properly and continue it another time. It should be very impolite, I think. I actually kena treated the same before and it's quite disappointing. Haiz...I really cant dislike a person for long and what I gain is being hurt again and again. I wish someone can accompany me as a friend, that's more than enough. I don't expect I can have a girlfriend at this moment already. I just want a few people to care me. Who actually know I'm not feeling well today? Who actually know my printer bullied me whole the whole night? Who actually know how scare am I when I suddenly received a call from gay lou senior? Who actually know Alibaba wants me to pay rm10.70 for my dinner and I diao that worker. But I manage to get back rm2 only. He said nasi putih rm1.50, ayam goreng rm3.50, ikan 3.50 and milo ais rm2.20. My first time spent so much in Alibaba, i rather eat maggi mee at home. I've bought 16 packs of maggi mee and it finishes soon. People always advise us not to take maggi mee more than 2 packs per month, but I take few packs per week. My dinner time is so disorder now. I don't want to meet anyone during dinner time as I don't like people to ask me 'eating alone?'. So, I have change my dinner time to either 6pm or 8pm when there is not many people come out for dinner. I'm too lazy to go far far away and explore new places anymore. I want to save money and it's no different whether the food is nice or not. As long as I am not down, maggi mee can be the best food. Hopefully, no people jio me go anywhere makan already. I scare I will cry when I have to eat alone for the next time. Anyways, thx for jio'ing but sorry. =(

This morning I attended my first class.I felt so sleepy in the class. These 2 days, I really had not enough sleep. I played mahjong until late at night. Start from now, I plan to sleep before 12 every night. Hopefully, it works. Today I feel very bored, I looked at my handphone every hour in this morning. I wish I could heard sms ring tone. As usual, there is none. Recently, there are a lot of new couples. They humiliated me, uh uh~~ Still remember, my gang has 7 people last year and now only I am the single. Teckkeng's girlfriend studies in UCSI, there is no hope to see him anymore except in class. LP is busy with her boyfriend-to-be and is very xin fu now. Chinese new year is coming soon. At the first sight, my relatives definitely will ask me if I have a girlfriend already and I always disappoint them. I keep counting how many days that I am alone until I feel tired one day. Tonite, I'm taking dinner alone again. At the same time, I sms my friend, so that I wont feel lonely. I have promised joshua and lily's gang, I won't having dinner with them more than 2 times per week. I am almost broke, I can't afford the high expenses with them. So, it makes feel like, poor people is always lonely. I cant say I am poor, but I am not as rich as them. My parents are going to retired soon due to some problems. I know there is a problem but I feel so sorry that can't help them. I just bought a new laptop, I don't want to ask more money from my parent anymore, the money is not earned by me and I took too much from them already. As for my sister, she got nothing from our parents. Therefore, after my graduation, I have to take care of my nieces besides my parents. I am always under stress that I can't fail in any single subject. This is also why I cannot start any relationship before and even after my graduation. I am not able to take care of so many things and don't want to be hurt by anyone. I always try to make the people around me happy. However, at the same time, I have hurt a number of people. Only one friend, no matter how my times I hurt, he still treats me as a good friend. Maybe he is too free now while waiting for getting his scholarship and study overseas. So whenever I sms him during my dinner, he can reply in no time. Physically, I am alone but actually mentally I am still not totally alone. I miss my home seriously. I want to go back home. Only cny I can my friends. I just finish watching The Apple of My Eyes. It's not as nice as expected but it make me recall back all those sweet memories in secondary school. I still can remember during form 5 schooldays, I had no fixed seat in my class. I like to exchange seats with my friends so that can chat with others in my class. As for now, I'm like alone in class and surrounded by those hi-bye friends.

New laptop

I have a new laptop now. I went to Lowyat this afternoon and looked for a new laptop. Meanwhile I help my friend to buy a microphone and printer toner. It took me 4 hours. At first I was so excited that got people can accompany me. But I went there alone in the end. Ehm, don't know why a bit disappointing, I shouldn't be like that for the next time. I should have used to it. It make me think of 1 photo.

I just finished the last episode of my favourite drama, Bottled Passion (我的如意狼君). It is really sad and tragic. I can see true love and true friendship in this drama. I think I never have both. It seriously touched me deeply at the bottom of my heart. I was watching the drama alone, and I always wish those good persons in this drama can be the parts of my life. However, there is no good ending, nothing is forever.

I was so happy yesterday. I went for a bicycle ride at Taman Pertanian Malaysia in the morning. It's an enjoyable one-day trip. All of us are not really close friends and that is why no one will ignore another. Sometimes, don't know why, outing with some close friends might be more unpleasant and stressful. Most probably those close friends are not really true friends. It once happened to me when I keep asking a friend to Langkawi, my friend say yes but at the end there was no more further news. I never asked why and I also don't want to know anymore. Another hometown gang jio me go Hatyai at the same time and I feel very very regret to reject them now. They booked me first, I don't understand how I can treat them like that. Most of them have decide to work in Singapore already, I can't forgive myself that I never join them. After 2 weeks, my friend did come to my hometown and informed me only right after he reached Alor Star. It's quite disappointing knowing that went to Langkawi without jio me. So now, I prefer do anythings alone rather than asking people to accompany me. I went to The Garden today, and again, I went there alone. I walked in the crowd without knowing any directions. At first I just wanna stay at home for the whole day, however, the waves of loneliness strike me badly and I can't endure the mental pain. I buy a Fossil watch. I want to remind myself, time will pass anyhow, and it cures every thing.