This morning I attended my first class.I felt so sleepy in the class. These 2 days, I really had not enough sleep. I played mahjong until late at night. Start from now, I plan to sleep before 12 every night. Hopefully, it works. Today I feel very bored, I looked at my handphone every hour in this morning. I wish I could heard sms ring tone. As usual, there is none. Recently, there are a lot of new couples. They humiliated me, uh uh~~ Still remember, my gang has 7 people last year and now only I am the single. Teckkeng's girlfriend studies in UCSI, there is no hope to see him anymore except in class. LP is busy with her boyfriend-to-be and is very xin fu now. Chinese new year is coming soon. At the first sight, my relatives definitely will ask me if I have a girlfriend already and I always disappoint them. I keep counting how many days that I am alone until I feel tired one day. Tonite, I'm taking dinner alone again. At the same time, I sms my friend, so that I wont feel lonely. I have promised joshua and lily's gang, I won't having dinner with them more than 2 times per week. I am almost broke, I can't afford the high expenses with them. So, it makes feel like, poor people is always lonely. I cant say I am poor, but I am not as rich as them. My parents are going to retired soon due to some problems. I know there is a problem but I feel so sorry that can't help them. I just bought a new laptop, I don't want to ask more money from my parent anymore, the money is not earned by me and I took too much from them already. As for my sister, she got nothing from our parents. Therefore, after my graduation, I have to take care of my nieces besides my parents. I am always under stress that I can't fail in any single subject. This is also why I cannot start any relationship before and even after my graduation. I am not able to take care of so many things and don't want to be hurt by anyone. I always try to make the people around me happy. However, at the same time, I have hurt a number of people. Only one friend, no matter how my times I hurt, he still treats me as a good friend. Maybe he is too free now while waiting for getting his scholarship and study overseas. So whenever I sms him during my dinner, he can reply in no time. Physically, I am alone but actually mentally I am still not totally alone. I miss my home seriously. I want to go back home. Only cny I can my friends. I just finish watching The Apple of My Eyes. It's not as nice as expected but it make me recall back all those sweet memories in secondary school. I still can remember during form 5 schooldays, I had no fixed seat in my class. I like to exchange seats with my friends so that can chat with others in my class. As for now, I'm like alone in class and surrounded by those hi-bye friends.