Old pictures

Once upon a time, This photo was taken with my 'kai ba' and 'kai ma'when I was born. 1 year old. I always be my sister's free photograph model. 2 years old when I was still chubby. 4 years old at KFC. Becoming a slim 5-year-old-boy My Buddies He was my neighbour. He always came to my house. My first malay friend My eldest nephew who is 5 years younger than me. I was shy when he called me 'jiu jiu' when we studied in the same primary school. My cousin's girlfriend (now become my ah sou) and her brother and sister. I was so tiny. My good cousin who looks like Daniel Wu Yin-Cho now. My birthday I celebrate my birthday every year until 7 years old when I moved to new house. This was my first birthday. Second birthday My 4th birthday, celebrate together with my cousin, our birthdays are close to each other. Again, two cakes for 2 leng zai. Many people said I look like him now. My 6th Birthday with my granny. She stayed with me and play chor dai 2 with me every day. This let me train myself how to cheat and keep big 2 for myself. She passed away when I was still in primary school. I never cried in front of anyone but my first tear drop in front of public when she left me. She is the best people I ever meet. Since then, I become a lonely guy at home. Hong Kong drama becomes my accompanion.

Waiting

Ten years ago, who am I? One year ago, who am I? Even yesterday, who am I, is not important. I still have to move on alone, waiting someone who can accept my past, support my present, love me and encourage my future. I may look like doing nothing, but actually I'm actively waiting for my fade. =)

To be or not to be

Yesterday I wanted to seach for some images in Google to have an idea on how to decorate my graduation photo album cover. I didn't find any good designs, surprisingly, I found a picture where the person inside was wearing a graduation rope which was so similar to mine and his face looked like Kevin. I entered the blog and Oh my Gosh, that's absolutely Kevin with his father. I had a look in his dad's blog talking about his son and found that this person is quite cute, funny and brilliant. After reading this, I realise that sometimes, we need to step outside, look further, take a deep breath and remind ourselves of who we are and who we want to be. Who we want to be doesn't mean we want to be somebody else and work as hard as they can to fulfill thier dream. I once want to be as hardworking as other, I planned to study till 2-3am at midnight. After few days, I gave up to be somebody, I decided to be my ownself again. It's not lazy but I think I'm crazy if I study in such unhealthy way. Eventually, I promise myself to sleep before 12 everyday if possible until now, unless I think there are some important things that I have to keep myself awake. I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. I always wonder the real me is acceptable or not. I'm not popular, but I have a list of good friends. I'm not rich but I have what I need. I may not be liked, but I wish so. frankly speaking, it's better to have enemy who honestly tell you that he hate you rather than having a friend who always putting you down secretly. It's really very hard for me to find a true friends with no intention and can make you happy. On the other hand, waiting for someone to make you happy is the best way to be sad. *sigh*

Ignorance

This week, my best friend complaint about his relationship with his girlfriends. After listening to their story, in conclusion, some people can hurt us by words or by actions, but the biggest hurt is ~being ignored. I quite agreed with this statement, but the thing that makes me feel funny is he is the one who always ignore my message haha. I once complaint about the ignorance, but it seems there is no change in attitude, so I don't want to talk more regarding this anymore because I know our tongues have no bone, but they are strong enough to a person angree, it's beter to be careful with our words. Furthermore, spending today complaining about the past will not make tomorrow any better. Love the moment including the darkness. During those dark times in our l;\ife, we are given wisdom and clarity to learn from the experience and walk away a better version of ourselves. Without those obstacles, we do not know how nice is our future, and we would not be as strong as what we could have been. We must give ourselves a chance, and leave no room for regrets. At the same time when we have been went through hard times and come out the other side, look around us, the people still there are your true friends. =)

something good

I have many things that i want to keep.in this blog, but i am too lazy to type it out. Writing something using a handphone is much more time wasting than uaing a laptop. There are many things I have not updated my blog, eg. My convocation, my trip to kl, my tears of joy, my sadness recently,. Anyway, everyday may not be good, but there is still something good in a day.

never look back

Jenwin, never look back. If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she would not have become a princess.

graduation photo

Yerterday, i went to take family portrait with my parents and my sister's family in Bukit Mertajam. It is our first time and quite enjoyable. I look fat in the photo, what to do? We only can choose eight photos from those hundreds of shooting, feel like being cheated. But, as compared with others, this package is still acceptable. RM299 includes a 12x15 inches and a 8R photo with frames, a small photo albums with eight photos, free one person full make up. I took the same package with Sara.

how do i live

I want to live such a way that any one speakly badly about you, but no one would believe it. I hink that we do not need to change friends,.if we understand that friend changes.

worth or not

Today I didnt control my mood well. But, every thing was over. I dont need thier explanation any more as I feel disappointed for many times. No everybody is going to know how to appreciate everything you have done for them. You have to figure out by yourself who is worth your kindness. I want to give up now. Just come back from haitouki after chui shui with friends.not easy to gather I think.i plan to sleep by 10pm every night but apparently I am a failure for this.

sor zai

This afternoon I went for hair cut. The boss, Alvin went vto Bangkok. His assistant gave me a surprise that he cut a sor zai head fot me. I didnt know it can be so sor zai. I need to wear a cup when I want to step out from my house. Next monday I am going to attend rehearsal in kl. Hopefully my hair can grow faster. Monday morning, I plan to take breakfast with sailou. Giving priority for ck but he gave no response. He told me it's hurt when he didnt received reply message. It's same for me. Perhaps, he has too many uncertainties, so I start to ignore you. I asked another sailou. But he has 8am class. Reply was fast. "You wake me up ba" yesterday night, Shee Hui asked me to go Combodia. I rejected. She understood why I reject. For other friends they just keep saying I am jual mahal. They think that I dont want to join means dont want to be friends with them. Fine, I really feel tired to change their thought, and I am not able to do so too. Not .going to joke with them anymore,. Later someone will knock my head or call me stupid. ALL KL people is like that? I really have bad perception towards KL citizens. They are not approuchable. There is a gap in between. Nice to them you will not be remembered, but if hurt them once, you will not be forgiven. I feel scared.