Pass the Past

I clean up my room and and I these drawings. I drew these 11 and 6 years ago, respectively. The first picture was my first girl I drew using water colour and the latter one was the second last coloured girl I drew. I'll draw some girls every year. Their faces will be uploaded when I have the internet access. The last girl I drew was during Uni time when I feel bored. Sometimes I also sketched some girls during lectures. I liked drawing since 4 years old. Till now still got a few costumers came to my shop and asked my mum 'Is that your son who always draw dragon when he was small. He is very talented, I know he will be a successful man in future.'

Apart form that, I've been singing on stage on my sister's wedding when I was 5. I was very nervous that time, I still could remember. My father's didn't support me to draw or sing. He banned me from drawing and singing for many years. He was very conservative during that time and keep telling me, singing and drawing wont bring you a better future, reading books has a brighter one and more realistic one. Because of that, I stealthily do the things that I like to do. I practiced Chinese calligraphy by my ownself since no one could fetch me to attend classes. I listened to radio everyday because I like music very much. Also, because of transportation problem, I can't attend Extra Mathemathics class during weekend. My teaches purposely asked me to join the math class but I disappointed her. I learned Math by my own. During secondary school, I hadn't give up yet, I still had passion in Maths. I online search for Maths questions. I tried many many types of questions of different level. I can spent a whole day just to solve a question. Finally, I participated in Math competition at school level. I didn't do well, but I was given the chance to attend the Maths class. In form 3, I participated in National Olympiad Mathematics, the very first time participated for this national competition and compete with Form 3 and Form 4 students. There were only 5 questions and I managed to do 3 1/2 out of 5, and hence I got an 'honourable mention'. Only 45 people can get it nationwide. This made me much crush on Maths and I get the same price in the following years. Too bad I was not chosen to join a better group, if not, I could get 'tempat pertama berpasukan'.

Time flies, I never think that I will go to biology stream, and I also never think that I will be taking pharmacy course. A friend told me not to waste my time during holidays, I felt a bit angry because he made me feel guilty and made me look down myself, made me feel useless. Anyway, I just want to live happily, I just want to do what can made me happy, I don't really care if the activities is a waste of time or not. I like to look at the screen, reading some blogs, comment on some photos, and I know what am I doing. I like singing, I learn and sing new songs. I don't like football and computer games even it's a guy's stuff, and I won't force myself to love it or learn it. I anti dota and other games since long ago because there's a story behind.

I don't understand how can I change my thinking out of sudden. I talk so differently nowadays. I can't believe what I've told Yuen Si yesterday. I didn't hate anyone anymore. Am i return the original me in form 3? If real then good. Come back to hometown, I really feel happy, and I don't know what is sad now. My prison life in KL gave me a dark shadow. Time asked me to forgive everyone and know some new friends when old friends can't accept you. I start feeling sorry with someone. I pity her a lot when I see many one leave her alone. Be strong, girl, just be the original you, don't care what people thinks, they just make you suffer more.
The most beautiful is when people appreciates the original you, and you're comfortable enough to behave like one.

千万不要因为走的太久，而忘记了我们为什么出发.