星空

Last quiz tomorrow!! Nothing to be happy because it means final exam is coming soon. This morning went to library for preparing tomorrow quiz. Luckily it's an open day, so that I can stay a bit longer. After coming back from library I studied nothing till now. This is my first time I didn't do my best on last day. Surprisingly, there were so many coursemates in library today. All of them sat with friends. As usual, I was sitting alone. How nice if one day my friends will volunteer to sit with me, then they will break the record in my student life. 2 months to go, then I will quit my student life. I'm counting down everyday. I've changed. I share my happiness with different peoples nowadays, the people that I don't know well, but at least can crap a lot. I never share my sadness, because I don't want people to see trough me or pity me. I was not so down at night, at least a new friend always jio me makan. Perhaps, his gf is not available at night so he is alone at night, then find me for dinner. Better than none, right? At least both of us are not eating alone with tears. long time never ask other people for dinner already. Since I'm not alone, they are also not alone, so I don't need to bother or think of them already, am I right? So, did I change? If I'm the previous me, I will definitely ask them to makan. Now, I feel like I'm more and more following their attitute- If you want to call me, then maybe I will join, if not, I don't care, I have others, I also wont call you. It's quite sad when you find there is no more topic to be share with the person you used to share with. It's more even upset when you dare not sms a friend just because scare of late reply, scare of ignorance, scare of your friend will not treat you as they treat other good friends. When you start feeling like wanna write something in a blog rather than share verbally to a friend, this is the most emo time ever and most probably won't sleep well at night. Hugging my pillow, forcing myself to sleep is nothing uncommon. It's more scary when you can listen to your heart beat and the sound of the fan twinning makes you feel cold...I miss home. I miss my secondary schoolmates. I don't want to be free. I want a very packed schedule that can suffocate me.

细数繁星闪烁 细数此生风波
原来所有所得所获 不如一夜的星空
指中的温柔 回忆里的笑容
仿佛只要伸手就能触摸
摸不到的颜色 是否叫彩虹
看不到的拥抱 是否叫做微风
一个人 习惯一个人

这一刻独自望着星空
从前的从前从没变过
寂寞可以是忍受
也可以是享受享受着拥有
那一年我们望着星空
有那么多的灿烂的梦
至少回忆会永久 像不变星空陪着我
最后只剩下星空 像不变回忆陪着我~~