On the wrong path, I've to shift gears and start thinking differently

I think today I've nothing to write until this afternoon, I heard something that really hurt. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's not about how it hurts but it's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. To date, I really don't know whom shall I trust. Seriously, I hope this is the last lesson. I previously thought only girls will leave boy once they have a boyfriends. But now, all guys I meet ,except my hometown friends, none of them is not zhong se qing you. The people live in KL is so scary. I don't want to care anymore. I forgive everyone that treat me bad. I don't care anyone keep using me. I won't hate anyone treating me like a stupid. I still will care for those as how they care for me. I will use my smile to cover everything. I will reject many things in indirect way provided it does not hurt anyone. I would like to say sorry to a friend who is going to leave M'sia and heading to UK soon, as I neglect my friend a lot, i admit. I just hope people can be frank to me always, don't ignore me, at least sometimes give priority to me, sometimes can remember me. This is what I did to those whom I consider as my friends. There's always no return and I should have used to it. I hope i can be taller a bit so that can get a gf easier. No one else is free to ask me 'How are you now/recently?' All those messages are 'Hey, can I ask for your help?' 'Can I ask you something?' I kinda like to see some messages like 'Hey, i have a funny thing to tell you', 'let me sahre something interesting to you, 'Hows your exam lately?', 'I'm here to cheer you up, tell me your story', 'Man, let's go library study together', 'let me accompany you to go Giant to buy some stuff". 'hey, there's a nice movie, I'm here to ask whether you want to go with me? what time are you free let me discuss with others' rather than 'Hey, we're going to watch movie now, you want to join or not, haha, if want then want if don't want then don't want, nothing is important.'...I just expect something that i think a real friend should do. I expect too much, as much as how disappointing am I now. When you feel like not wan to talk with or lazy to talk with that person, I think you will forget the person sooner or later. So Jenwin, listen here, just do whatever you think you should do, just let them do whatever they like, that is beyond your control. You think you treat other people good they will treat you back as the same? Theoretically, it should be true, but in real life, my experiment showed the opposite side of the theory.