Clinical clerkship is quite tiring. I can't believe I just restored my sleeping time from 5pm-8pm and feel tired still. I'm not going to do anything. The 'bucket list' that I've planned for today becomes a 'pending list' now. Today is not a very lucky day. I drove out to have my dinner because I don't really like 'alibaba life' as well as 'maggi life'. When I came back, the power window of my small little kelisa was stuck and the remote was not functioning. It's around 9 and it's no longer working hour for almost every workshop around. I spent 20mins staying in the car try to close the window forcefully. Thank God, it continued to function after I hit it for many times. I get irritated again. Recently, I admit that I've mood disorder. A small tiny stuff is enough to trigger my mood to be unstable. Was it caused by boring life? I wakes up at 5 every morning then go to hospital and clerk cases. Then come back to school for discussion with lecturer. After that, go back home rushing my report and sleep at midnight. The schedule is packed and unchangeable. Yesterday night I was struggling for air while completing my clerked case. Unfortunately a friend was screwed up by me because I did't believe him. this was due to he contradiction in his words. At first he said "Sorry, I just received your message" after that he said "Sorry, it's was raining so I didn't take my handphone out" So, if latter one is right, then what is the point he mention that he just receive my message. Anyway, everything is not important, no matter how he's still my closest friend in KL. If I don't trust him, then there is no one can be trust anymore in KL. If I said he never care for me, then I cant say no one can do better than him. People asked me why I don't like my friends. I don't know how to answer, because I'm still looking for some good friends. Life without friends is like Youtube without videos, and Google with no result. My friend said, waiting for a good friend is like waiting for boat at the airport, but it's still possible.
In pass, I can wait anyone for long and I don't mind. After I meet one for my friends in UCSI, after I wait for 30mins in Maybank, and after few times waiting for him, I start feel intolerable to wait. He did not punctual and I was always the one who received thousands of 'sorry'. Last year I also start cant tolerate with late message reply already. Among all friends, only two make me feel very pek cek. When they need your help they can reply you in a lighting speed. If it's not an urgent case for them, they can just sms you a first message and wait for your reply, once you reply, they will take years to reply you back. Another sienz case is, they never say directly in the sms, they will ask a lot of unrelated questions then only start to enter the main point. Some like to let you wait for their reply. They just keep quite without sending a message like 'please wait for 10mins, I want to ask others people' or 'sorry give me 10mins more, I think I will be late'. They just let you wait wait and wait. When they call you, you must give instant response. It's so unfair. Start form now, I prefer eat alone rather than waiting for this and that, her or him. I rather emo myself than get irritated by others. That why I born to be a loner. Everyone who just add me as a friend in Line will ask me why my status is 'loner'. I was speechless and the only response that I can give is just a smile. Sometimes, smiles are like band-aids, they cover up the wound but it still hurts. The only things that I really make me smile and even laugh is everyday when I enter Chat Box, and listen to some noises from my A.S. gang. I like their siao siao way. They are sincere and not fake. It's still enjoyable if kena shot. Surprisingly, it is like my daily medicine to treat me boredness and loneliness even though sometimes it can be irritating when I want to sleep late but the notisfication tone keep awakening me up.
Therefore, the best things in life are the people you love, the places you’ve seen, and the memories you’ve made along the way. If things are going good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, dont worry. It can’t last forever either.
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